I'll Hold You Through It All
by Runs with Werewolfs
Summary: It makes Kendall sick to hear how they treat Carlos, who would never hurt ANYONE.Kenlos Lamille JamesxJo. Please read A/N at the end for a special announcement. WARNING: This Story deals with homophobia. NOT going to be continued...i lied...


**I'll Hold You Through It All**

* * *

_That word. _

He couldn't even bring himself to say it. It was such a terrible word. And to watch his best friend be called that every day, just because he liked guys, made Kendall Knight sick. Just to lie in the bedroom he shared with the three guys, listening to the form on the bunk beneath him crying, made him want to go punch of homophobic assholes asses. He didn't deserve that, he was more of a man than any of those bullies were.

Logan didn't ever hear. He was a deep sleeper. James would hear, but didn't ever know what to do. How could he, he'd never had to go through that. Kendall didn't even know what to do, and Kendall always knew. But he didn't know what to do this time. He didn't know how he could keep him safe, when he loved him. He knew he'd come out for Carlos, but he knew the company would say he couldn't. He hated it.

Carlos didn't deserve all the hate thrown at him. He was 18 years old, full of life, full of innocence still. Like a little child in some aspects, the way his eyes twinkled when he was truly happy, which was more often than you'd think. The way he always made time for the little kids (the ones whose parents weren't homophobic), the way he always answered back to teens who were struggling with coming out, telling them that there would always be someone who loved them, even if it was him who cared. He'd never give information away, the Jenny Tinkler incident back when they were 16 had taught him well enough.

Tonight was a particularly bad night. Someone had punched Carlos in the stomach after screaming that word at him. James and Logan had gone all physco best friends on the dude, James threatening to punch the guys face in. Freight Train had had to carry James and Logan out.

Kendall had simply grabbed Carlos' hand and dragged him out after the other two. He had wanted, so badly, to join in on the fight, but Carlos had clung to him, begging him not to get involved. He'd known that Kendall might actually kill the guy, and he needed Kendall around. Carlos had taken to cowering behind Kendall or James, since they were so much bigger, any time they were in public. He would stand out, but always slightly behind one of his taller band mates, who had gladly taken on the role of bodyguard.

Now, they were all four sitting on the tour bus, James holding ice to his black eye, Logan trying to stop a bloody nose, Carlos still holding his stomach, sitting on the floor. Kendall was sitting on the couch with Carlos at his feet. Gustavo was lecturing all four boys about fighting, even though Kendall and Carlos had no part in fighting for once.

"And you!" Gustavo pointed at Kendall "Can't you at least protect your friends?"

Kendall rolled his eyes "I didn't see the guy so close to him, okay. I'm not perfect"

"Whatever. Carlos, are you okay?" Gustavo noticed Carlos, who was moaning in pain.

Kendall climbed over Carlos, kneeling down next to him. "Hey. Let me see. I'm no Logan, but let me see" he said. Logan peered curiously around his hand to see what was going on.

Carlos took his hand off of his stomach, allowing Kendall to lift up his shirt. Kendall cussed under his breath when he saw the bruise forming on Carlos' stomach. "It's bruised" he said. "Logan, what can we can we do for a bruise"

"Deres dot much be can do" Logan said.

"There's not much we can do?" Kendall asked, clarifying. Logan was pinching his nose to stop the bleeding, so he was kind of hard to understand.

"Yes"

Kendall sighed sadly. "It's been like an hour. I'm sorry, Carlos, I wish I could make the pain stop"

"S'not your fault. You didn't punch me." Carlos said tensely.

James slumped back into the couch "How can people just be filled with so much hate?" he asked angrily. "How can people just hate someone because they're gay? Carlos doesn't hate straight people! Carlos is the sweetest guy in the world"

Kendall put his hand on James's knee. "I know, James. It's wrong. Carlos would never hurt someone. Homophobia is like being afraid of the dark. It's never going to hurt you." Kendall spat. "People just want something to hate on. It makes me sick. Carlos is amazing and I wish people would look past the label and see why I- why we all- love him so much"

Carlos leaned his head on Kendall's shoulder. "I have all I need right here, guys. And I have fans. I'm okay with people acting like jerks. I just wish they'd be less violent" he moaned.

Kendall sighed. "I know. I wish I could protect you, Carlos. I hate seeing you hurt"

Logan groaned and took the tissue off his nose. "We all hate seeing you hurt" he said.

James sighed. "It makes me so upset that anyone could be so judgmental and mean." He said, pushing Kendall's hand off his knee and standing up, aiming a kick at the trashcan as he walked by.

Kendall sighed and nodded. "Carlos, we love you" he whispered. Carlos smiled slightly.

"I never doubted that you love me, guys. I don't need fans; I don't need anything as long as I have you guys"

Kendall sighed. He didn't want Carlos to have his three best friends and their families. He wanted Carlos to have the world, no, the universe. He would deserve it. "Carlos, I- I can't imagine going through what you have to go through on a regular basis. I can't imagine having to hear that word and know its directed at me. I can't imagine having people use a word that's meant to be offensive to me and thinking its funny." He whispered. He did know, it offended him on a personal level, because Carlos was his best friend. He wasn't gay, he still liked girls, but he knew he was in love with Carlos and it angered him that anyone would be so mean to him.

Gustavo finally spoke up again. "Dogs, you have a concert tomorrow night, you need to go to bed" he announced. Kendall and James glared him. "Besides- I-uh-I bet Carlos' stomach won't hurt when he falls asleep. Give it time to heal? Right. Logan?"

"Yeah" Logan said. "I can't sleep for a while still, my nose could start bleeding and then I could bleed to death."

James looked at him "You know entirely too much about things I want to know nothing about, Logan" he said with a laugh. "I'm going to go to bed and pray that this black eye magically goes away over night. I didn't bring any cover up"

"Because you totally would" Kendall rolled his eyes and moved on the floor. "Carlos, are you okay?" he asked the figure on his shoulder.

'I'm fine. I'm fine." Carlos's voice was cracking.

"Carlos, you're not fine"

"It hurts, okay? I say it doesn't, but that word hurts" Carlos said angrily. "I hate hearing it, but what I hate more is how you three react to it. Trying to stop the word is one thing, beating people up and acting like I'm fragile is another thing. Homophobia sucks, okay. But I don't want you guys getting hurt over it" he stood up. "I'm going to bed. Leave me alone" he spat, storming off. Kendall watched Carlos slide into his bunk, nearly tearing the curtain off in his anger.

Kendall sighed. "He's right, guys. We shouldn't act like he's going to die just because someone uses that word." He said.

"I just hate that people think that's okay" James said, going over to his "locker" on the bus and digging through it for a pair of pajamas. "I wish we could do something to let them know this isn't okay"

Kendall sighed. "We'll come up with something." He said. "Even if it has to be just speaking out against bullying" he looked at Gustavo. "We can speak out against that, right?"

Gustavo shrugged "Griffin just said nothing controversial" he said.

"So then we'll speak out against that" Kendall said stubbornly, listening to the sobs that had started coming from Carlos' bunk. "Okay, seriously, I know he said to leave him alone, but that's not going to happen" he said, turning and taking a step towards Carlos' bunk. Logan grabbed his arm.

"Kendall, can I talk to you? Outside? James, you too" Logan winked at James, who nodded and followed them out.

Logan gave Kendall a look "You're in love with Carlos" he said softly.

"No" Kendall said sarcastically "Is that why I can't get him off my mind? Is that why I want to punch the guy who punched Carlos's face in?" Kendall said.

James rolled his eyes "Dude, no need to be so mean. We're not accusing you of anything. We're just stating the facts. You need to tell him how you feel." He added.

Kendall sighed "I'm scared, okay. I know that's not a normal thing for me to be scared, which is why is scares me even more. I want to tell him, but I don't want all four of us to go down for Carlos and I. I would be selfish of me to come out"

Logan sighed. "Kendall, stop. You need to tell Carlos how you feel" he said "It's selfish not too"

James nodded "Carlos loves you" he added, folding his arms across his chest. "It's not fair to keep this held in."

Logan nodded "and we'll hold you through it all" he added. "You're our brothers, we're not going to give up just because asinine homophobes think they're so tough and cool. We're here, Kendall. No matter what"

Kendall sighed "I'll talk to him in the morning, he's too upset about you two fighting to coherently understand what's going on"

* * *

2 weeks later and Kendall still hadn't talked to Carlos. He kept kind of chickening out every time he went to tell Carlos how he felt. He never was scared of being himself before, he was normally so proud to be who he was, but it made him slightly nervous to come out. Even though he knew Carlos would laugh at him for being silly, it scared him to death.

"No, dude, I think they'll end up getting married" James insisted, pointing stubbornly at the TV. Kendall gave him an annoyed look.

"James, we've seen this movie 5 TIMES and they don't!" Kendall reminded him. "It's not going to change. If you have a problem with it, go rewrite the script and post it online or something" Kendall said sadly.

Logan rolled his eyes "You two are so stupid. This is a chick flick, why are we even watching this?"

"Because, the girl is really hot!" James said as if that explained EVERYTHING.

"Well, that makes perfect sense" Logan scoffed, walking towards the door as someone knocked. He opened it up, revealing Jo and Camille standing there, Carlos half unconscious between them, sopping wet, a slightly dazed look on his face. Katie brought up the rear of the group, looking completely horrified. "Carlos!"

"Oh my- Carlos!" James shouted, jumping up and rushing over.

Kendall followed James off the couch and over to him. "Jo, what happened?" he asked as he and James took Carlos from the girls. Carlos stumbled slightly, clinging to Kendall's shoulders and shaking, eyes barely open.

"Some of the new kids thought it was real cute and funny to push Carlos into the pool and the hold him under." Jo said angrily. "They didn't bank on us saving him so soon. Bitters is lecturing them right now and Buddha Bob called the cops, since it looked a whole lot like attempted murder, but they swear they were going to let him come up eventually. They said they were just joking, but one of them who was watching was saying things that makes us believe otherwise."

Kendall sighed, wrapping his arms around the trembling figure that was clinging to him. Katie came into the apartment, slightly shaking. Logan grabbed a hold of her and Camille, wrapping an arm around each. James silently took Jo's hand, pulling her into the apartment and then shutting the door, arms going around her protectively, as if people were going to hurt her too. Camille put her head on Logan's shoulder sadly.

Kendall sighed. "He's so cold, guys." He announced. "I'm going to get him in some dry clothes. Logan, any suggestions?"

"Just some clothes and maybe a hot shower later" Logan suggested.

James sighed. "I'll go get him some stuff, he's not going to let go of you, Kendall, and he's exhausted, he shouldn't have to move so much" he decided, letting go of Jo and heading for their room. Kendall somehow managed to get Carlos to the couch, and grabbed a blanket off the back, wrapping it around him.

Kendall pulled him close, watching as Logan set about making hot chocolate in the kitchen, claiming it would warm everyone up. Jo and Camille headed into Katie's room, saying something about finding a board game to play and some extra blankets. Katie's room, because she had two closets, like the boys room, had become the place where all of that stuff kind of landed.

"K-Kendall, I'm freezing" Carlos's teeth were chattering. Kendall wrapped his arms tighter, willing his body heat to transfer to Carlos. Logan came over, holding a cup of hot coffee from breakfast.

"I know we don't usually let him have coffee, but I think he needs it" Logan said, pressing the cup into Carlos's hands. Carlos took a sip of it, wincing at the bitter flavor.

Kendall sighed. "Carlos, I'm sorry." He whispered. "I should have been there to save you"

Katie came over and sat next to him "Camille did a good job. She literally jumped into the pool and just wailed on the guy holding Carlos down." She said "I was with Carlos when they pushed him in, and I didn't know what to do" she said. "I just kind of started screaming"

"It's okay." Kendall said as she put her head on his shoulder. "At least Carlos is safe now."

Katie nodded "Yeah. I didn't like it though. How can anyone be so mean?" she asked softly, reaching over and rubbing her hand against Carlos's shoulder.

"Katie, there are a lot of sick things in this world and hating men who like other men is one of them. I don't see how it should matter, as long as someone loves you, love is love. But it does matter in some peoples minds and they claim all sorts of things to justify it. They hide behind religion to justify homophobia, even though their religion teaches love." Kendall said sadly. "Some people don't even bother hiding behind a religion. They just want someone to hate and because they aren't gay and don't understand, People like Carlos get hurt."

Katie sighed. "That's terrible though. Carlos wouldn't hurt anyone"

Kendall sighed, putting his head on top of Carlos's "I know, Katie. It's awful and it's wrong."

James came in carrying a pair of pajama bottoms and a shirt. "Here" he said, tossing them to Kendall.

"James, can you help me get him to the bathroom? He's kind of heavy-"

James nodded, coming over and taking the mug from Carlos. He handed it to Katie before helping Kendall lift Carlos up. They helped him peel out of the wet clothes that were basically like a second skin, turning their backs when he changed.

Carlos was still wobbly, but not quite as shaken now that he was in warm clothes. Kendall and James walked behind him as he made his way back to the couch, only once having to grab his shoulder to keep him from stumbling. Logan came around the counter with hot chocolate in a mug, pressing it into Carlos' hands when they sat down on the couch. Kendall pulled a new blanket, one that Camille and Jo had brought out, over him and Carlos, wrapping an arm over his shoulder. Logan sat down on the couch next to Carlos, finding some random comedy movie on TV as he did. Camille sat down next to him, putting her head on her shoulder. Katie had gone off to her room, seeming upset about the whole ordeal, and had locked the door.

James and Jo sat at the floor, James leaning against Carlos' legs, Jo sitting slightly on his lap. Kendall sighed. "Carlos, this will all be okay" he whispered. Tomorrow, he'd tell Carlos how he felt. Tomorrow, when Carlos wasn't so shaken. He'd make sure Carlos knew. He'd hold Carlos though it all. And his friends would hold them through it all.

* * *

A/N: Okay, so there will be a second chapter to this, so keep an eye out…and yeah...

I have an announcement and a challenge for all ya'll. Dalton (DemonsAngel17) and I are starting a campaign. Here's the mission:

**HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG AND WE ARE SICK OF IT. In order to stop Homophobia, everyone who disagrees with it should write a story about dealing with it and why it wrong, for the BTR fanfiction. If enough people post antihomophobic stories, people will see that homophobia doesn't just hurt the person its directed at. It hurts everyone who loves someone who is gay/lesbian/bisexual or anything along those lines. Together we will stop it. Pass it on to everyone. Come Out, Speak out, Stomp It Out... Our goal is to get atleast 20/30 oneshots about homophobia. If you write one, make sure it is known, so it can be added to the C2. **

So yeah, write a oneshot dealing with homophobia and why its wrong. We need to stop this growing problem. I have been getting homophobic anyomous reviews (which I have deleted and turned off) and it's making me mad. So go ahead and write a one shot….it can be about one of the guys getting hurt, being afraid to come out, coming out, speakng out...stomping out homophobia and the REAL F-word...


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